{PHFR}

Pretty:

We had a nice St. Lucia celebration on the 13th. I made sweet rolls (from a can) in a circle for breakfast and print out a paper St. Lucia from Paper Dali for Little E. She loves blowing out candles and saying, "Pray for us!"

Happy:

Last week I made homemade beeswax votive candles to have blessed on Candlemas. This was my second attempt at making candles. The first attempt I couldn't get out of the mold, so this time I just put them in a water bath and they popped right out. The plan is to light these when we pray the rosary.

 Funny:

This past Saturday we made cookies with DH's family and Little E had flour head to toe. She loved rolling, cutting and putting flour out to making the rolling easier. We probably made over 15 dozen cookies. Most of them are in the freezer because I have no self control. ;)

Real:

DH has a soft heart for animals. One of the litter from this past spring had 4 more kittens. As of today I have given away 2, so 2 more to go. DH made a nice sign out of cardboard and sharpie that is in the front yard for free kittens. It isn't pretty, but at least it works!

Head on over to Like Mother, Like Daughter for more Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real.

The Advent Post

Advent is upon us. Preparing our hearts for the Christ Child is the goal.

So this year, we have a few traditions that we are celebrating-new and old.

First, before having little E, we said the prayers and lit the candles of our lovely Advent Wreath given to us by my mom. It is a nod to my Irish heritage.

Next, I really think Little E will enjoy putting this nativity together each day (if she can wait!) also bought for us by my mom.

Here is yet another Advent calendar given to us by a good college friend of mine and it has little door for each day of December. Before Little E, I would fill each day with candy for DH, but now it is little toys or candy for her. She adores Winnie the Pooh and I was lucky enough to find some little figurines at the dollar store.



St. Nicholas will bring the gold coins and playmobil nativity set for Little E. 

We are going to strive to say a family rosary each day (which we do most days) and also recite the St. Andrew Christmas anticipatory prayer each day in hopes of a miracle baby for us. 

Some other activites we have planned are a trip to a Carmelite monastery for a St. Nicholas celebration, mass at our cathedral and a get together on the feast of the Immaculate Conception, and family cookie day with my in-laws.

We bought this crucifix at the Carthusian monastery gift shop this summer.

I had thoughts of doing a Jesse Tree, but I think that it will be too much for us this year. I will continue to read and pray my Divine Intimacy and I hope to start to say Night Prayer each night. I would love to say the Liturgy of the Hours throughout the day as time allows or even the Little Office, but I need to start somewhere.

Friday Quick Takes

1. We are a diet disaster. Probably the best diet for our family would be Paleo but I just can't stop cooking from my Nourishing Traditions cookbook. Everything I have tried is fabulous. My sourdough bread from my own starter is cooling on my counter.
2. My hormones are a mess. One minute I am crying because I am just so thankful to be a mom and another minute I am mad at my husband. Oh those hormones. I have been on a roller coaster since our trip to NYC.
3. But one good thing is my FSH level has come down to 7.8 from 15 this summer. So at least the antibiotics are working.
4. I am so tired today. Maybe it is the rain? Or because of  #2.
5. My prayer life is rather dry. I attend daily mass about twice a week and we pray the rosary as a family most days, but I just can't get myself into a regular routine daily. So bad, I know.
6. Yesterday, Little E and I took a really nice walk on a path behind a local park. We picked up leaves, threw some in the creek, watched the ducks and just chatted. It was so beautiful.
7. There I go crying again. UGH, those darn hormones.

Farewell Summer, Hello Autumn

This summer was quite eventful for our little family. We took some great trips, Little E turned 2, we gardened, we canned, we said goodbye to good friends, relaxed, and just enjoyed the summer weather.

Some of my favorite parts of this summer were watching Little E jump into the pool with pure joy on her face, winning blue ribbons at the county fair for my canned goods, spending time with extended family, meeting new friends at our new TLM parish, attending outdoor concerts, blogger meetups, and resting in our outdoor hammock with my DH.

My least favorite parts were Little E breaking her elbow, getting more medical treatments, and melting in the 100 degree weather. And of course not having another little one to celebrate.

But most of all, we made some great memories and grew together as a family. Here are some pictures that capture the season.

Little E at our favorite CSA farm

Our bum arms (E's splint and my IV set up for the treatments)

Blue ribbon relish and other cans I made

My fav family pic from VT

Little E and the hubs at a July 4th outdoor symphony concert

I am looking forward to Autumn with apple festivals, a home school preschool co-op, enjoying the cooler weather, a family wedding, and preparations for the holidays. The fall always brings renewed hope for me, I don't know if it was the promise of a new school year, looking forward to holidays, or that good things have happened to me in the fall. Either way, I am hopeful and thankful.

I Am Very Thankful

About 2 weeks ago I went to NYC to see this doctor again. DH and I saw him exactly 9 months prior to conceiving E. I do think that was the tipping point for us. We did continue with some other treatments after seeing him. Those other things no doubt helped, but haven't helped us with another child. So, I went again. Thankfully, my mother came to help out before DH was able to get there and help.

This trip was very difficult. It took us an extra 2 hours to drive to NYC and then I was super stressed driving in Manhattan (thanks to my guardian angel!). The apartment we were going to rent fell through the day before and I had about 2 hours notice to find another one. But I did, thank God.

Some of the treatments were very painful, but I did get through them. I did endure a lecture about I.VF being the best for us, but for obvious reasons we aren't even considering that. Um, hello, we have conceived three times without that! But for the most part I am hopeful that we will have another child but am forcing myself to just pray for peace in whatever outcome the Lord has for our family. At times this is extremely difficult and actually during the trip I could just manage a few Hail Mary's and go to mass on Sunday. So, any prayers that were offered for us really helped sustain us.

We are happy to be home for awhile. I truly appreciate living in the country and not having any issues with traffic, parking, or public transportation. And I am especially thankful for a pro-life OB/GYN practice that never pressures me to do anything anti-life.

Never in my life did I think that it would be this difficult to have children. The extremes that we have had to go surely makes us appreciate the little life we have been given. The Lord knows exactly what I need to seek Him. And for that, too, I am thankful.

6 Word Love Story (for our 9 year anniversary)

Jane Street

Nextdoor Neighbors
Soul Mates

Thanks, Blessed and Broken for the inspiration!

Miss E Turns 2!

I cannot believe that Miss E is already 2. Where did the time go?

I have been a full mess of emotions this past week and have now finally been able to put them  into some sense. Part of me feels that her childhood is just flying by, at times I don't stop to really appreciate and enjoy her in the midst of trying to stop a tantrum or give her something she will actually eat. Most of the time I am just so thankful to have her at all. She has taught me more about unconditional love in the last 2 years than I have learned in my entire life.

I also love her so much, I would love to have more children. But, that is obviously not in the cards for us right now. So, I try to push through my sorrow that we won't have that big Catholic family and truly appreciate what we do have. Each day I try to surrender my will to His Will and find peace and joy in that.

Miss E had these stickers on her when I picked her up out of the crib.

Blowing out 2 candles!

The Most Beautiful Spiritual Experience of My Life

When we went to Vermont a week ago, I was blessed with a 48 hour private retreat at a Benedictine Monastery. It was pure bliss.

We (DH, Little E and I) attended mass together and DH and E left me at the monastery. At first I didn't know what to do with myself, I didn't have a toddler to chase around, a meal to prepare or clean up after, a house to clean, emails to read, or phone calls to return. So, I just laid on my bed and read. Heaven.

The nuns are super cloistered, they even have their own separate part of the chapel. But I would strategically place myself in the front of the other side of the chapel so I could see a few of them. They chant the Office in Latin and Gregorian Chant 6 times a day, starting with Vigils at 5:30 AM and ending with Compline at 8:30 PM. I loved every minute of it. I wasn't bored one bit. The entire time went really fast.

My meals were served by a resident Oblate (a laywoman who took professed vows to the Order of the monastery). I chatted with her a little bit and with another couple that stayed the first night I was there. But mostly I was on my own to pray, read, eat and journal in solitude.

I didn't have any divine revelations while I was there but I was blown away at their simplicity of life. I feel like I am on a mission to simplify, get rid of things, and do what really matters. On a daily basis, I have found myself being more aware of God's Presence and connecting my day to Him. Or really, offering my day to Him. The sacrifice of the nuns is completely inspiring to me and has helped me to put all the little things I have to do in a day in the perspective of sacrifice for our Lord.

When DH and E pulled up to the monastery I ran out to meet them. I couldn't wait to kiss and hug and little girl and give my DH a big smooch. I felt so peaceful and happy to see them.

This was my first taste of hearing Gregorian Chant of the Hours live, and I feel so drawn to it. I wish the monastery wasn't a 11 hour drive away. Maybe I could teach little E to chant and ring a bell when we pray? ;)

{Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real}

{Pretty}



MMMMM....pretty....fresh strawberries from the garden

{Happy}

On Mother's Day we went to our local zoo, it was such a fun and happy day. Ella and I compared to bears...

{Funny}

 

Elk butt



                                                                          {Real}



We have 6 kittens under our porch. Want one?



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Join Us!

The little one and I are joining in this year for the Marian ATC Swap.

I have been thinking of something special to do this month for Our Lady and I saw this on Pondered in My Heart. What a beautiful way to show devotion to Our Lady.

I will probably be using mostly colored pencils and Little E will probably be using water colors (we just need to get some...). Please join us!

Seven Quick Takes

1. Life has been pretty slow around here lately. We are spending time outside and gardening. Fresh air is so good for the soul.

2. DH and I are still reading Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis DeSalles. It.is.so.good. So many thought provoking parts at apply to every faction of my life. It has left me realizing that I have so far to go to life a Holy life.
3. We are headed to Vermont soon and I can't wait. I will be doing a 48 hour silent retreat at this monastery. We will be staying in north central VT and plan on relaxing and doing to touristy type things. My anxiety about this trip is going with my almost 2 year old. She tends to scream (a lot) when she is overtired. My hope is for a mostly peaceful trip.
4. I am working on a post on modesty, how it has softened my heart and helped me to grow a little in virtue. Stay tuned.
5. I have an appointment next week with a new-to-me NaPro doc, please say a prayer that it goes well and she can help me.
6. Our little family has settled into a nice rhythm for the time being in the evening-dinner, clean up, and rosary. Bedtime soon after for our little one. It is just so peaceful. There is just something bonding for our family to pray out loud together and offer that time for those we know that need prayers.


7. Our local farmers market opened up this week and it was fabulous. I bought homemade crackers, they are Divine! I also bought some bok choy...have been looking for some recipes to cook it. Any suggestions are welcome!

A Simple Woman's Daybook

Never done on before, but no time but the present!

Daybook

For Today, Tuesday March 27, 2012

Outside my window...its chilly, more spring here in PA

I am thinking...when are we going to put together E's little new outside cottage

I am thankful...for good friends that let me complain

In the kitchen...defrosting lamb shoulder roast for deconstructed gyros tonight

I am wearing...a jean skirt, tights, short sleeve sweater and long sleeve T under the sweater

I am creating...E's Easter basket

I am going...to visit my family this weekend for my Grandma's 90th birthday party

I am wondering...when we are going to mass for Easter

I am reading...Introduction to the Devout Life, the Dialogue by St. Catherine of Siena, and The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers and another book on Montessori

I am hoping...for another baby sometime soon

I am looking forward to...spending lots of time outside this summer

I am learning...that my marriage is always evolving

Around the house...toys out from this morning and laundry that needs to be switched

I am pondering...how wonderful it is to stay home.

A quote for today..."The cross of Christ is the source of all blessings, the cause of all graces." St. Leo the Great

A few plans for the rest of the week...play group tomorrow AM, packing, work Friday AM then trip!

A peek into my day...

Can't get pic to upload!

God's Mercy

Reflecting on my second miscarriage, I can't help but believe that this is God' Mercy for me.

Let me explain. Throughout my short life I have encountered many sufferings. But, looking back, I realize that with each suffering, the Lord is calling me back to Him. He knows me. He knows that I tend to wander when comfortable. I get quite lazy. I slow down my prayer. I got to daily mass less. But, when suffering and in pain, I call out to Him. I pray more. I seek Him more.

Through suffering, I realize that I am not God. I do not know all. I cannot do all. Therefore, suffering is really God's Mercy for me. Just like the Cross. He could have stopped the suffering. But, He allowed it. Jesus modeled perfect obedience and Mary also modeled perfect emotional suffering to model how we should live. It is such a hard, hard way of life, but one that leads to peace. (And hopefully Heaven!).

After this second miscarriage, I have a strange peace. I don't get those twinges of jealousy of friends that are still pregnant. Or those that pregnant so easily. Now, I did cry about not being able to share this special time with my friends when I realized that I was miscarrying, but since then, no anger or jealousy. This is only by the Grace of God. And His Blessed Mother.

The March for Life

On Monday, my husband, daughter and I attended the March for Life in Washington DC. It was so powerful. This was my first time.

We met friends, E and P at Au Bon Pain for lunch and then headed over to the Mall. It was so muddy and wet, but we saw many signs and people there. We couldn't hear or see the rally and then it started to rain really hard so we went into the Smithsonian. (Plus, little E was freaking out). Close to 1:30 PM we went out towards the street and moved towards where the crowd was gathering. There was lots of chanting and praying going on. As we got closer, we realized that we were at the front.

We watched some the marchers go by and then Little E started to freak out and wanted out of the stroller. DH tried to hold her but she was shouting for me. So I picked her up and then a sister in a blue habit stopped by and talked to E. She stopped crying and the sister gave her a blue prayer shawl and asked us to prayer for her and she said she would pray for us. I asked her what her name was and she said Mother Olga of the Daughters of Mary of Nazareth. Her shawl warmed E the rest of the march. We got into the march and E wouldn't let DH hold her nor would she ride in the stroller. I held her most of the way except when she wanted to walk a little. She wasn't not going to walk during her first March for Life!

As we were marching, I kept thinking of all the babies that have died through the massacre of abortion and just how incredibly sorrowful this is. I was tearing up most of the March. Here I was carrying my 19 month old and a 7 week old baby in my belly and I would walk the entire March in my hands to keep this baby in my womb, but some mothers "choose" to stop their baby's beating heart. Such a tragedy in our society.

We walked with the other marchers almost to the Supreme Court and then headed back to Union Station to get the Metro home.

We are so thankful to our friends M and A for hosting us before and after the March. We had a wonderful meal together and our babies played together. They are such gracious hosts and have a warm and inviting home.

Favorite Books of 2011

This past year I have read more spiritual books than in my entire life. It was so good. Once reason was because a couple friends and I formed a book group and read some good spiritual books. They were my motivation to keep reading when the reading got tough. Our book discussions weren't all that in depth since we were running after 7 children three and under! Some of these books I read on my own and some with the group. I try to keep tabs on what I am reading on Goodreads, a link to the right. There are so many more I want to read this year, I just need more time!

1. A Story of a Soul by St. Therese: This was my first book about a saint's life that I read. It blew me away. Her humility and devotion to Christ was so inspirational, I should read it again this year.

2. The Apostolate of Holy Motherhood: awesome read. Great for any mother of young children.

3. Humility of Heart by Cejatan de Bergama: Amazing. Knocked me on my, well, you know. I had no idea how my pride could manifest in so many ways.

4. A Mother's Rule of Life by Holly Perliot: By far the best book I have read on motherhood, prayer, and organizing one's day.

5. Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence by Father Jean Baptiste Saint-Jure: Seriously one of the best spiritual reading I have ever read. Made me realize that every.little.thing is God's Divine Plan for my life.

6. Interior Castle by St. Teresa of Avila: This book was difficult to understand at times, but very intense and good description on the phases of one's spiritual life. I realized that I have a very far way to go.

7. Unplanned by Abby Johnson: I highly recommend this book for anyone on the fence about PP or prolife issues. Very inspirational.

PS: If want any other news, please check my private blog. :)