Reflecting on my second miscarriage, I can't help but believe that this is God' Mercy for me.
Let me explain. Throughout my short life I have encountered many sufferings. But, looking back, I realize that with each suffering, the Lord is calling me back to Him. He knows me. He knows that I tend to wander when comfortable. I get quite lazy. I slow down my prayer. I got to daily mass less. But, when suffering and in pain, I call out to Him. I pray more. I seek Him more.
Through suffering, I realize that I am not God. I do not know all. I cannot do all. Therefore, suffering is really God's Mercy for me. Just like the Cross. He could have stopped the suffering. But, He allowed it. Jesus modeled perfect obedience and Mary also modeled perfect emotional suffering to model how we should live. It is such a hard, hard way of life, but one that leads to peace. (And hopefully Heaven!).
After this second miscarriage, I have a strange peace. I don't get those twinges of jealousy of friends that are still pregnant. Or those that pregnant so easily. Now, I did cry about not being able to share this special time with my friends when I realized that I was miscarrying, but since then, no anger or jealousy. This is only by the Grace of God. And His Blessed Mother.
