On Adoption

My apologies for the lack of posting around here. I just really couldn't put my thoughts into words. Well, I probably still can't, but I'll try.

The adoption is moving along. We are communicating with the birth mother regularly and are planning on meeting her this Friday. Everything on our side of things has been completed for the home-study so we are just waiting to hear that our agency completed their side.

This process has moved very quickly. Faster than I thought it would when we started out. But, this is good for us because we tend to stall on projects that take too long and lose steam. So, the good Lord knows exactly what we need and when we need it.

May and June are typically very busy for us with Mother's Day, DH's birthday, E's birthday and our anniversary. Lots going on every weekend and then there is just the every day kind of stuff. We have the nursery set back up and I just need to get a few small things together for the baby's arrival. We think that delivery date will be the first week in September. It is coming up quickly!

But the one part of adoption that I can't stop thinking and praying about is that this baby is coming into our lives due to the birth mother's sorrowful situation. It is more sorrowful than words that she is placing her baby for adoption and that our joy will come from this. Our journey to parenthood has been so filled with blood, sweat and many, many tears and this situation is no different. It is beautiful that we get to share our sorrow with another woman, the biological mother of our baby. I have been leaning on the Blessed Mother because She really knows sorrow, uncertainty, trust, and complete charity. She knows. Mary Mother of Sorrows, Pray for Us.

E is 4!

We celebrated the Feast of St. Anthony of Padua at the Shrine in Ellicot City, MD. Beautiful Mass, Procession, Adoration, Rosary in the Grotto, and BBQ! 

God's Mercy

Reflecting on my second miscarriage, I can't help but believe that this is God' Mercy for me.

Let me explain. Throughout my short life I have encountered many sufferings. But, looking back, I realize that with each suffering, the Lord is calling me back to Him. He knows me. He knows that I tend to wander when comfortable. I get quite lazy. I slow down my prayer. I got to daily mass less. But, when suffering and in pain, I call out to Him. I pray more. I seek Him more.

Through suffering, I realize that I am not God. I do not know all. I cannot do all. Therefore, suffering is really God's Mercy for me. Just like the Cross. He could have stopped the suffering. But, He allowed it. Jesus modeled perfect obedience and Mary also modeled perfect emotional suffering to model how we should live. It is such a hard, hard way of life, but one that leads to peace. (And hopefully Heaven!).

After this second miscarriage, I have a strange peace. I don't get those twinges of jealousy of friends that are still pregnant. Or those that pregnant so easily. Now, I did cry about not being able to share this special time with my friends when I realized that I was miscarrying, but since then, no anger or jealousy. This is only by the Grace of God. And His Blessed Mother.

The March for Life

On Monday, my husband, daughter and I attended the March for Life in Washington DC. It was so powerful. This was my first time.

We met friends, E and P at Au Bon Pain for lunch and then headed over to the Mall. It was so muddy and wet, but we saw many signs and people there. We couldn't hear or see the rally and then it started to rain really hard so we went into the Smithsonian. (Plus, little E was freaking out). Close to 1:30 PM we went out towards the street and moved towards where the crowd was gathering. There was lots of chanting and praying going on. As we got closer, we realized that we were at the front.

We watched some the marchers go by and then Little E started to freak out and wanted out of the stroller. DH tried to hold her but she was shouting for me. So I picked her up and then a sister in a blue habit stopped by and talked to E. She stopped crying and the sister gave her a blue prayer shawl and asked us to prayer for her and she said she would pray for us. I asked her what her name was and she said Mother Olga of the Daughters of Mary of Nazareth. Her shawl warmed E the rest of the march. We got into the march and E wouldn't let DH hold her nor would she ride in the stroller. I held her most of the way except when she wanted to walk a little. She wasn't not going to walk during her first March for Life!

As we were marching, I kept thinking of all the babies that have died through the massacre of abortion and just how incredibly sorrowful this is. I was tearing up most of the March. Here I was carrying my 19 month old and a 7 week old baby in my belly and I would walk the entire March in my hands to keep this baby in my womb, but some mothers "choose" to stop their baby's beating heart. Such a tragedy in our society.

We walked with the other marchers almost to the Supreme Court and then headed back to Union Station to get the Metro home.

We are so thankful to our friends M and A for hosting us before and after the March. We had a wonderful meal together and our babies played together. They are such gracious hosts and have a warm and inviting home.

First Time

This morning was my first time participating in prayer in front of an abortion clinic.

It was powerful.

The 40 Days for Life campaign in going on and my husband saw that one of the churches that we attend was praying the rosary in front of our local clinic this morning. He bravely lead our little family to mass and to the rosary. In the process, he invited some friends to join us. (Disclaimer: this was something that I haven't ever been felt called to do, but for some reason with him leading us, I felt peace about it.)

It is a beautiful fall day, a little brisk and breezy. We attended mass as a family. Then we drove to the clinic, put our daughter in the stroller and walked to the clinic. The priest of the church we attended this morning lead the rosary while some held signs and stood around a statue of Mary. We heard some honks, I couldn't tell if they were in support or not.

As we were praying, the reality that babies die in that building every week really hit me. It moved me to tears in deep sorrow for the babies, women, health care providers and our society. How can this happen? It is murder. A major tragedy in our society and very few do anything about it. This is such a sorrowful reality.

It makes me want to love my daughter so much deeper, what an amazing blessing she is.