Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum

This Advent has been purifying to say the least. Many times, I have been called to stop, reflect, and just plain die to myself.

One way has been to read "The Little Drummer Boy" multiple times a day when E says, "BOY!" This carol has given me ample time to reflect on Christ.

The humble drummer boy goes when he is called to visit the Christ Child. He goes. He doesn't ask why or grumble or drag his feet. He just goes. When it is his turn to honor the Baby Jesus, he sympathizes with His Humilty, and then offers the gift of himself. First, he asks Mary if he can play for the Baby, She nods, and then he plays his best.

The humility of the little boy gets me every time. I can't read/sing this for little E without tears running down my face. I have so far to go in stepping out in faith for Jesus. I want to have faith like a child but I fail multiple times, I constantly think I know better. When I should just say yes, offer myself and my own gifts for Him, daily. Oh, and do my best. My own wants, desires, and thoughts get in the way all the time when I should just say "yes" and do what He wants. Which is to love Him through loving those around me, dying to myself, and giving my best.

My heart is hollow, I am at a place where I am yearning for the Lord. May He come into my heart this Christmas so I may love others like He wants me to. Amen.

Blogger Meetup and Some Random Thoughts

What a great way to spend a day in Advent and the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe!

A and I meet in Emmitsburg MD for a early lunch with the kids, mass at the Grotto and a short walk on the grounds. We had a beautiful time together. I am so thankful for the Internet so that I have been able to meet A and get to know her! She is a beautiful soul! We share so much in common. The Lord provides us friends to show us His Love and Monday I felt showered!


Here is a picture of me and the kids (E was so not cooperating!).

Now for the random thoughts:

1. I have been wearing a veil to mass (novus ordo and Latin mass). It has been an interesting experience to say the least. At first, I hated it. I was so self conscious. I was only thinking of myself, but it made me wrestle with my own pride and learn to love God more. But I am learning to like it (I still don't have a post like my skirt one...). I still feel like an outsider, but I feel more modest. Virtue is a good thing, right? Lord, be patient with me, I am a work in progress.


2. Motherhood is hard. Everyday I wrestle with being truly present to E and loving her more. I am trying to learn to put myself last and do what the Lord in calling me to do in every little situation. I find this so difficult when I want to just talk on the phone, cook dinner, and carry on with my Christmas preparations. But, I remember those Advent seasons without a baby and turn my selfishness into thankfulness for His Blessings in my life.


3. Please pray for peace in my family of origin. Still broken and this Advent season makes it all the more obvious. I am trying my best to just accept the sorrow of this Cross for me and Thank Jesus for it. Sometimes it is just hard.


4. I am having an ultrasound series this cycle. What a great way to spend Advent. So far, 2 dominant follicles and good growth. The next couples days will reveal more.

That's all, hope you are having a Blessed Advent!