The Advent Post

Advent is upon us. Preparing our hearts for the Christ Child is the goal.

So this year, we have a few traditions that we are celebrating-new and old.

First, before having little E, we said the prayers and lit the candles of our lovely Advent Wreath given to us by my mom. It is a nod to my Irish heritage.

Next, I really think Little E will enjoy putting this nativity together each day (if she can wait!) also bought for us by my mom.

Here is yet another Advent calendar given to us by a good college friend of mine and it has little door for each day of December. Before Little E, I would fill each day with candy for DH, but now it is little toys or candy for her. She adores Winnie the Pooh and I was lucky enough to find some little figurines at the dollar store.



St. Nicholas will bring the gold coins and playmobil nativity set for Little E. 

We are going to strive to say a family rosary each day (which we do most days) and also recite the St. Andrew Christmas anticipatory prayer each day in hopes of a miracle baby for us. 

Some other activites we have planned are a trip to a Carmelite monastery for a St. Nicholas celebration, mass at our cathedral and a get together on the feast of the Immaculate Conception, and family cookie day with my in-laws.

We bought this crucifix at the Carthusian monastery gift shop this summer.

I had thoughts of doing a Jesse Tree, but I think that it will be too much for us this year. I will continue to read and pray my Divine Intimacy and I hope to start to say Night Prayer each night. I would love to say the Liturgy of the Hours throughout the day as time allows or even the Little Office, but I need to start somewhere.

Friday Quick Takes

1. We are a diet disaster. Probably the best diet for our family would be Paleo but I just can't stop cooking from my Nourishing Traditions cookbook. Everything I have tried is fabulous. My sourdough bread from my own starter is cooling on my counter.
2. My hormones are a mess. One minute I am crying because I am just so thankful to be a mom and another minute I am mad at my husband. Oh those hormones. I have been on a roller coaster since our trip to NYC.
3. But one good thing is my FSH level has come down to 7.8 from 15 this summer. So at least the antibiotics are working.
4. I am so tired today. Maybe it is the rain? Or because of  #2.
5. My prayer life is rather dry. I attend daily mass about twice a week and we pray the rosary as a family most days, but I just can't get myself into a regular routine daily. So bad, I know.
6. Yesterday, Little E and I took a really nice walk on a path behind a local park. We picked up leaves, threw some in the creek, watched the ducks and just chatted. It was so beautiful.
7. There I go crying again. UGH, those darn hormones.

Farewell Summer, Hello Autumn

This summer was quite eventful for our little family. We took some great trips, Little E turned 2, we gardened, we canned, we said goodbye to good friends, relaxed, and just enjoyed the summer weather.

Some of my favorite parts of this summer were watching Little E jump into the pool with pure joy on her face, winning blue ribbons at the county fair for my canned goods, spending time with extended family, meeting new friends at our new TLM parish, attending outdoor concerts, blogger meetups, and resting in our outdoor hammock with my DH.

My least favorite parts were Little E breaking her elbow, getting more medical treatments, and melting in the 100 degree weather. And of course not having another little one to celebrate.

But most of all, we made some great memories and grew together as a family. Here are some pictures that capture the season.

Little E at our favorite CSA farm

Our bum arms (E's splint and my IV set up for the treatments)

Blue ribbon relish and other cans I made

My fav family pic from VT

Little E and the hubs at a July 4th outdoor symphony concert

I am looking forward to Autumn with apple festivals, a home school preschool co-op, enjoying the cooler weather, a family wedding, and preparations for the holidays. The fall always brings renewed hope for me, I don't know if it was the promise of a new school year, looking forward to holidays, or that good things have happened to me in the fall. Either way, I am hopeful and thankful.

I Am Very Thankful

About 2 weeks ago I went to NYC to see this doctor again. DH and I saw him exactly 9 months prior to conceiving E. I do think that was the tipping point for us. We did continue with some other treatments after seeing him. Those other things no doubt helped, but haven't helped us with another child. So, I went again. Thankfully, my mother came to help out before DH was able to get there and help.

This trip was very difficult. It took us an extra 2 hours to drive to NYC and then I was super stressed driving in Manhattan (thanks to my guardian angel!). The apartment we were going to rent fell through the day before and I had about 2 hours notice to find another one. But I did, thank God.

Some of the treatments were very painful, but I did get through them. I did endure a lecture about I.VF being the best for us, but for obvious reasons we aren't even considering that. Um, hello, we have conceived three times without that! But for the most part I am hopeful that we will have another child but am forcing myself to just pray for peace in whatever outcome the Lord has for our family. At times this is extremely difficult and actually during the trip I could just manage a few Hail Mary's and go to mass on Sunday. So, any prayers that were offered for us really helped sustain us.

We are happy to be home for awhile. I truly appreciate living in the country and not having any issues with traffic, parking, or public transportation. And I am especially thankful for a pro-life OB/GYN practice that never pressures me to do anything anti-life.

Never in my life did I think that it would be this difficult to have children. The extremes that we have had to go surely makes us appreciate the little life we have been given. The Lord knows exactly what I need to seek Him. And for that, too, I am thankful.

6 Word Love Story (for our 9 year anniversary)

Jane Street

Nextdoor Neighbors
Soul Mates

Thanks, Blessed and Broken for the inspiration!

Miss E Turns 2!

I cannot believe that Miss E is already 2. Where did the time go?

I have been a full mess of emotions this past week and have now finally been able to put them  into some sense. Part of me feels that her childhood is just flying by, at times I don't stop to really appreciate and enjoy her in the midst of trying to stop a tantrum or give her something she will actually eat. Most of the time I am just so thankful to have her at all. She has taught me more about unconditional love in the last 2 years than I have learned in my entire life.

I also love her so much, I would love to have more children. But, that is obviously not in the cards for us right now. So, I try to push through my sorrow that we won't have that big Catholic family and truly appreciate what we do have. Each day I try to surrender my will to His Will and find peace and joy in that.

Miss E had these stickers on her when I picked her up out of the crib.

Blowing out 2 candles!

The Most Beautiful Spiritual Experience of My Life

When we went to Vermont a week ago, I was blessed with a 48 hour private retreat at a Benedictine Monastery. It was pure bliss.

We (DH, Little E and I) attended mass together and DH and E left me at the monastery. At first I didn't know what to do with myself, I didn't have a toddler to chase around, a meal to prepare or clean up after, a house to clean, emails to read, or phone calls to return. So, I just laid on my bed and read. Heaven.

The nuns are super cloistered, they even have their own separate part of the chapel. But I would strategically place myself in the front of the other side of the chapel so I could see a few of them. They chant the Office in Latin and Gregorian Chant 6 times a day, starting with Vigils at 5:30 AM and ending with Compline at 8:30 PM. I loved every minute of it. I wasn't bored one bit. The entire time went really fast.

My meals were served by a resident Oblate (a laywoman who took professed vows to the Order of the monastery). I chatted with her a little bit and with another couple that stayed the first night I was there. But mostly I was on my own to pray, read, eat and journal in solitude.

I didn't have any divine revelations while I was there but I was blown away at their simplicity of life. I feel like I am on a mission to simplify, get rid of things, and do what really matters. On a daily basis, I have found myself being more aware of God's Presence and connecting my day to Him. Or really, offering my day to Him. The sacrifice of the nuns is completely inspiring to me and has helped me to put all the little things I have to do in a day in the perspective of sacrifice for our Lord.

When DH and E pulled up to the monastery I ran out to meet them. I couldn't wait to kiss and hug and little girl and give my DH a big smooch. I felt so peaceful and happy to see them.

This was my first taste of hearing Gregorian Chant of the Hours live, and I feel so drawn to it. I wish the monastery wasn't a 11 hour drive away. Maybe I could teach little E to chant and ring a bell when we pray? ;)