A Simple Woman's Daybook

Never done on before, but no time but the present!

Daybook

For Today, Tuesday March 27, 2012

Outside my window...its chilly, more spring here in PA

I am thinking...when are we going to put together E's little new outside cottage

I am thankful...for good friends that let me complain

In the kitchen...defrosting lamb shoulder roast for deconstructed gyros tonight

I am wearing...a jean skirt, tights, short sleeve sweater and long sleeve T under the sweater

I am creating...E's Easter basket

I am going...to visit my family this weekend for my Grandma's 90th birthday party

I am wondering...when we are going to mass for Easter

I am reading...Introduction to the Devout Life, the Dialogue by St. Catherine of Siena, and The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers and another book on Montessori

I am hoping...for another baby sometime soon

I am looking forward to...spending lots of time outside this summer

I am learning...that my marriage is always evolving

Around the house...toys out from this morning and laundry that needs to be switched

I am pondering...how wonderful it is to stay home.

A quote for today..."The cross of Christ is the source of all blessings, the cause of all graces." St. Leo the Great

A few plans for the rest of the week...play group tomorrow AM, packing, work Friday AM then trip!

A peek into my day...

Can't get pic to upload!

God's Mercy

Reflecting on my second miscarriage, I can't help but believe that this is God' Mercy for me.

Let me explain. Throughout my short life I have encountered many sufferings. But, looking back, I realize that with each suffering, the Lord is calling me back to Him. He knows me. He knows that I tend to wander when comfortable. I get quite lazy. I slow down my prayer. I got to daily mass less. But, when suffering and in pain, I call out to Him. I pray more. I seek Him more.

Through suffering, I realize that I am not God. I do not know all. I cannot do all. Therefore, suffering is really God's Mercy for me. Just like the Cross. He could have stopped the suffering. But, He allowed it. Jesus modeled perfect obedience and Mary also modeled perfect emotional suffering to model how we should live. It is such a hard, hard way of life, but one that leads to peace. (And hopefully Heaven!).

After this second miscarriage, I have a strange peace. I don't get those twinges of jealousy of friends that are still pregnant. Or those that pregnant so easily. Now, I did cry about not being able to share this special time with my friends when I realized that I was miscarrying, but since then, no anger or jealousy. This is only by the Grace of God. And His Blessed Mother.

The March for Life

On Monday, my husband, daughter and I attended the March for Life in Washington DC. It was so powerful. This was my first time.

We met friends, E and P at Au Bon Pain for lunch and then headed over to the Mall. It was so muddy and wet, but we saw many signs and people there. We couldn't hear or see the rally and then it started to rain really hard so we went into the Smithsonian. (Plus, little E was freaking out). Close to 1:30 PM we went out towards the street and moved towards where the crowd was gathering. There was lots of chanting and praying going on. As we got closer, we realized that we were at the front.

We watched some the marchers go by and then Little E started to freak out and wanted out of the stroller. DH tried to hold her but she was shouting for me. So I picked her up and then a sister in a blue habit stopped by and talked to E. She stopped crying and the sister gave her a blue prayer shawl and asked us to prayer for her and she said she would pray for us. I asked her what her name was and she said Mother Olga of the Daughters of Mary of Nazareth. Her shawl warmed E the rest of the march. We got into the march and E wouldn't let DH hold her nor would she ride in the stroller. I held her most of the way except when she wanted to walk a little. She wasn't not going to walk during her first March for Life!

As we were marching, I kept thinking of all the babies that have died through the massacre of abortion and just how incredibly sorrowful this is. I was tearing up most of the March. Here I was carrying my 19 month old and a 7 week old baby in my belly and I would walk the entire March in my hands to keep this baby in my womb, but some mothers "choose" to stop their baby's beating heart. Such a tragedy in our society.

We walked with the other marchers almost to the Supreme Court and then headed back to Union Station to get the Metro home.

We are so thankful to our friends M and A for hosting us before and after the March. We had a wonderful meal together and our babies played together. They are such gracious hosts and have a warm and inviting home.

Favorite Books of 2011

This past year I have read more spiritual books than in my entire life. It was so good. Once reason was because a couple friends and I formed a book group and read some good spiritual books. They were my motivation to keep reading when the reading got tough. Our book discussions weren't all that in depth since we were running after 7 children three and under! Some of these books I read on my own and some with the group. I try to keep tabs on what I am reading on Goodreads, a link to the right. There are so many more I want to read this year, I just need more time!

1. A Story of a Soul by St. Therese: This was my first book about a saint's life that I read. It blew me away. Her humility and devotion to Christ was so inspirational, I should read it again this year.

2. The Apostolate of Holy Motherhood: awesome read. Great for any mother of young children.

3. Humility of Heart by Cejatan de Bergama: Amazing. Knocked me on my, well, you know. I had no idea how my pride could manifest in so many ways.

4. A Mother's Rule of Life by Holly Perliot: By far the best book I have read on motherhood, prayer, and organizing one's day.

5. Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence by Father Jean Baptiste Saint-Jure: Seriously one of the best spiritual reading I have ever read. Made me realize that every.little.thing is God's Divine Plan for my life.

6. Interior Castle by St. Teresa of Avila: This book was difficult to understand at times, but very intense and good description on the phases of one's spiritual life. I realized that I have a very far way to go.

7. Unplanned by Abby Johnson: I highly recommend this book for anyone on the fence about PP or prolife issues. Very inspirational.

PS: If want any other news, please check my private blog. :)

Ba-bye 2011

Dear 2011,
Ah, you weren't one of my greatest years. It started off okay with a baby that was finally sleep trained and completely on formula. But, in March things started to go downhill-major fallout with the fam, worst vaca ever in April, conception in May, miscarriage in July, and continued hostility with the family. Not really a stellar year.

But, God's Grace abounds. I have grown closer to the Lord and done things I never thought possible out of love for Him. DH and I pray way more together. We got rid of our cable and talk more at night. We go to daily mass often with our daughter and have beautiful family time together. We have formed some close friendships with new friends and gotten closer with old friends. We see His Grace often in our lives.

I am looking forward to 2012 with hope. What else do I have?

Tomorrow I am getting a blood test (HcG and progesterone) because I will be P+17. I'm not sure what I think since the results of my ultrasound series weren't great, but the Lord is in charge.

Happy New Year and here's hoping 2012 is better!

Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum

This Advent has been purifying to say the least. Many times, I have been called to stop, reflect, and just plain die to myself.

One way has been to read "The Little Drummer Boy" multiple times a day when E says, "BOY!" This carol has given me ample time to reflect on Christ.

The humble drummer boy goes when he is called to visit the Christ Child. He goes. He doesn't ask why or grumble or drag his feet. He just goes. When it is his turn to honor the Baby Jesus, he sympathizes with His Humilty, and then offers the gift of himself. First, he asks Mary if he can play for the Baby, She nods, and then he plays his best.

The humility of the little boy gets me every time. I can't read/sing this for little E without tears running down my face. I have so far to go in stepping out in faith for Jesus. I want to have faith like a child but I fail multiple times, I constantly think I know better. When I should just say yes, offer myself and my own gifts for Him, daily. Oh, and do my best. My own wants, desires, and thoughts get in the way all the time when I should just say "yes" and do what He wants. Which is to love Him through loving those around me, dying to myself, and giving my best.

My heart is hollow, I am at a place where I am yearning for the Lord. May He come into my heart this Christmas so I may love others like He wants me to. Amen.

Blogger Meetup and Some Random Thoughts

What a great way to spend a day in Advent and the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe!

A and I meet in Emmitsburg MD for a early lunch with the kids, mass at the Grotto and a short walk on the grounds. We had a beautiful time together. I am so thankful for the Internet so that I have been able to meet A and get to know her! She is a beautiful soul! We share so much in common. The Lord provides us friends to show us His Love and Monday I felt showered!


Here is a picture of me and the kids (E was so not cooperating!).

Now for the random thoughts:

1. I have been wearing a veil to mass (novus ordo and Latin mass). It has been an interesting experience to say the least. At first, I hated it. I was so self conscious. I was only thinking of myself, but it made me wrestle with my own pride and learn to love God more. But I am learning to like it (I still don't have a post like my skirt one...). I still feel like an outsider, but I feel more modest. Virtue is a good thing, right? Lord, be patient with me, I am a work in progress.


2. Motherhood is hard. Everyday I wrestle with being truly present to E and loving her more. I am trying to learn to put myself last and do what the Lord in calling me to do in every little situation. I find this so difficult when I want to just talk on the phone, cook dinner, and carry on with my Christmas preparations. But, I remember those Advent seasons without a baby and turn my selfishness into thankfulness for His Blessings in my life.


3. Please pray for peace in my family of origin. Still broken and this Advent season makes it all the more obvious. I am trying my best to just accept the sorrow of this Cross for me and Thank Jesus for it. Sometimes it is just hard.


4. I am having an ultrasound series this cycle. What a great way to spend Advent. So far, 2 dominant follicles and good growth. The next couples days will reveal more.

That's all, hope you are having a Blessed Advent!