I Am Very Thankful

About 2 weeks ago I went to NYC to see this doctor again. DH and I saw him exactly 9 months prior to conceiving E. I do think that was the tipping point for us. We did continue with some other treatments after seeing him. Those other things no doubt helped, but haven't helped us with another child. So, I went again. Thankfully, my mother came to help out before DH was able to get there and help.

This trip was very difficult. It took us an extra 2 hours to drive to NYC and then I was super stressed driving in Manhattan (thanks to my guardian angel!). The apartment we were going to rent fell through the day before and I had about 2 hours notice to find another one. But I did, thank God.

Some of the treatments were very painful, but I did get through them. I did endure a lecture about I.VF being the best for us, but for obvious reasons we aren't even considering that. Um, hello, we have conceived three times without that! But for the most part I am hopeful that we will have another child but am forcing myself to just pray for peace in whatever outcome the Lord has for our family. At times this is extremely difficult and actually during the trip I could just manage a few Hail Mary's and go to mass on Sunday. So, any prayers that were offered for us really helped sustain us.

We are happy to be home for awhile. I truly appreciate living in the country and not having any issues with traffic, parking, or public transportation. And I am especially thankful for a pro-life OB/GYN practice that never pressures me to do anything anti-life.

Never in my life did I think that it would be this difficult to have children. The extremes that we have had to go surely makes us appreciate the little life we have been given. The Lord knows exactly what I need to seek Him. And for that, too, I am thankful.

6 Word Love Story (for our 9 year anniversary)

Jane Street

Nextdoor Neighbors
Soul Mates

Thanks, Blessed and Broken for the inspiration!

Miss E Turns 2!

I cannot believe that Miss E is already 2. Where did the time go?

I have been a full mess of emotions this past week and have now finally been able to put them  into some sense. Part of me feels that her childhood is just flying by, at times I don't stop to really appreciate and enjoy her in the midst of trying to stop a tantrum or give her something she will actually eat. Most of the time I am just so thankful to have her at all. She has taught me more about unconditional love in the last 2 years than I have learned in my entire life.

I also love her so much, I would love to have more children. But, that is obviously not in the cards for us right now. So, I try to push through my sorrow that we won't have that big Catholic family and truly appreciate what we do have. Each day I try to surrender my will to His Will and find peace and joy in that.

Miss E had these stickers on her when I picked her up out of the crib.

Blowing out 2 candles!

The Most Beautiful Spiritual Experience of My Life

When we went to Vermont a week ago, I was blessed with a 48 hour private retreat at a Benedictine Monastery. It was pure bliss.

We (DH, Little E and I) attended mass together and DH and E left me at the monastery. At first I didn't know what to do with myself, I didn't have a toddler to chase around, a meal to prepare or clean up after, a house to clean, emails to read, or phone calls to return. So, I just laid on my bed and read. Heaven.

The nuns are super cloistered, they even have their own separate part of the chapel. But I would strategically place myself in the front of the other side of the chapel so I could see a few of them. They chant the Office in Latin and Gregorian Chant 6 times a day, starting with Vigils at 5:30 AM and ending with Compline at 8:30 PM. I loved every minute of it. I wasn't bored one bit. The entire time went really fast.

My meals were served by a resident Oblate (a laywoman who took professed vows to the Order of the monastery). I chatted with her a little bit and with another couple that stayed the first night I was there. But mostly I was on my own to pray, read, eat and journal in solitude.

I didn't have any divine revelations while I was there but I was blown away at their simplicity of life. I feel like I am on a mission to simplify, get rid of things, and do what really matters. On a daily basis, I have found myself being more aware of God's Presence and connecting my day to Him. Or really, offering my day to Him. The sacrifice of the nuns is completely inspiring to me and has helped me to put all the little things I have to do in a day in the perspective of sacrifice for our Lord.

When DH and E pulled up to the monastery I ran out to meet them. I couldn't wait to kiss and hug and little girl and give my DH a big smooch. I felt so peaceful and happy to see them.

This was my first taste of hearing Gregorian Chant of the Hours live, and I feel so drawn to it. I wish the monastery wasn't a 11 hour drive away. Maybe I could teach little E to chant and ring a bell when we pray? ;)

{Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real}

{Pretty}



MMMMM....pretty....fresh strawberries from the garden

{Happy}

On Mother's Day we went to our local zoo, it was such a fun and happy day. Ella and I compared to bears...

{Funny}

 

Elk butt



                                                                          {Real}



We have 6 kittens under our porch. Want one?



Join Like Mother, Like Daughter for pretty, happy, funny, real



Join Us!

The little one and I are joining in this year for the Marian ATC Swap.

I have been thinking of something special to do this month for Our Lady and I saw this on Pondered in My Heart. What a beautiful way to show devotion to Our Lady.

I will probably be using mostly colored pencils and Little E will probably be using water colors (we just need to get some...). Please join us!

Seven Quick Takes

1. Life has been pretty slow around here lately. We are spending time outside and gardening. Fresh air is so good for the soul.

2. DH and I are still reading Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis DeSalles. It.is.so.good. So many thought provoking parts at apply to every faction of my life. It has left me realizing that I have so far to go to life a Holy life.
3. We are headed to Vermont soon and I can't wait. I will be doing a 48 hour silent retreat at this monastery. We will be staying in north central VT and plan on relaxing and doing to touristy type things. My anxiety about this trip is going with my almost 2 year old. She tends to scream (a lot) when she is overtired. My hope is for a mostly peaceful trip.
4. I am working on a post on modesty, how it has softened my heart and helped me to grow a little in virtue. Stay tuned.
5. I have an appointment next week with a new-to-me NaPro doc, please say a prayer that it goes well and she can help me.
6. Our little family has settled into a nice rhythm for the time being in the evening-dinner, clean up, and rosary. Bedtime soon after for our little one. It is just so peaceful. There is just something bonding for our family to pray out loud together and offer that time for those we know that need prayers.


7. Our local farmers market opened up this week and it was fabulous. I bought homemade crackers, they are Divine! I also bought some bok choy...have been looking for some recipes to cook it. Any suggestions are welcome!